💇🏽♀️ SOUL WEALTH CHRONICLES – ISSUE 61
I Am Not My Hair: No shade to those who love wigs.
Listen to the Audio Version
There is a moment in every transformation when you look in the mirror and realize something simple but profound:
This is not me.
Not because the hair is bad.
Not because it looks wrong.
Not because it isn’t beautiful.
But because it isn’t yours.
That is the realization I had recently.
The sew-in served its purpose. It was convenient. It did the job. And to be honest, many people complimented it. Just today someone told me how much they loved my hair.
And yet every time I saw my reflection, something inside of me quietly said:
This isn’t me.
And when your soul whispers something long enough, eventually you have to listen.
The Subtle Feeling of Being an Imposter
Sometimes the world applauds a version of you that doesn’t actually belong to you.
It fits.
It works.
It looks good from the outside.
But internally there is a quiet disconnect.
You start to feel like you are wearing a costume.
Not a bad costume.
Just not your skin.
That is how the hair began to feel.
It reminded me of something I have learned repeatedly throughout my life:
Whenever I try to blend in, something inside of me slowly goes quiet.
The Pattern of Trying to Blend
There have been seasons where I attempted to blend in.
In groups.
In friendships.
In spaces where it seemed easier to just adapt.
And initially it worked.
But eventually one of two things would happen:
I would become bored…
or I would feel like I didn’t belong there at all.
Because blending in requires you to dim something about yourself.
And my soul has never been particularly interested in dimming.
Returning to Myself
Taking the sew-in out isn’t really about hair.
It’s about returning to myself.
Back to the woman who doesn’t feel the need to mirror everyone else.
Back to the woman who is comfortable standing out.
Back to the woman who knows her uniqueness is not a problem to solve.
It is the point.
There is a deep freedom that comes when you stop trying to be digestible.
When you stop trying to be the version of yourself that makes everyone comfortable.
When you simply allow yourself to be you.
No Shade to Anyone Else
Let me be clear about something.
This reflection isn’t criticism.
There are women who wear wigs, sew-ins, braids, extensions, and every creative expression imaginable and they look absolutely stunning doing it.
And when they wear it, it is them.
That’s the difference.
Authenticity is not about what you wear.
It’s about whether it feels like home when you do.
For me, this particular style didn’t feel like home.
And I’ve learned to trust that feeling.
The Deeper Lesson
The hair was simply a mirror.
It showed me something much bigger.
Trying to blend in will always feel wrong for me.
Not because I’m trying to stand out.
But because my path was never meant to be ordinary.
Every time I have tried to mold myself into environments where I didn’t quite fit, life eventually nudged me back toward my authentic self.
Sometimes gently.
Sometimes dramatically.
But always faithfully.
Becoming Natalie
There is a quiet confidence that comes with returning to your natural self.
No performance.
No costume.
No unnecessary adjustments.
Just truth.
And truth is powerful.
This is the phase of my life where I am shedding every version of myself that was created to survive, belong, or appease.
And in that shedding, the real woman underneath is emerging more clearly than ever.
Her voice is stronger.
Her intuition is sharper.
Her presence is more grounded.
She is no longer interested in blending.
She is interested in becoming fully herself.
Reflection Prompt
Take a moment and ask yourself:
Where in my life am I trying to blend in when my soul is asking me to stand out?
Is it in your appearance?
Your career?
Your relationships?
Your voice?
What part of you is ready to return home?
Authenticity is not always the easiest path.
But it is always the most liberating one.
And sometimes the first step back to yourself begins with something as simple as looking in the mirror and saying:
“This isn’t me anymore.”
And lovingly choosing to change it.
With grace,
Natalie
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