SOUL WEALTH CHRONICLES – ISSUE 65
I’m No One’s Ride or Die
There was a time when I believed loyalty meant staying.
Staying when things felt uneven.
Staying when I was carrying more than my share.
Staying when love felt more like responsibility than partnership.
“Ride or die” sounded noble.
It sounded strong. Devoted. Committed.
But over time, I realized something.
Ride or die often meant:
Ride while I over-function.
Die while I disappear.
What I Thought Love Was
I have built with men.
I have supported dreams.
I have carried households.
I have paid the bills while someone else focused on their future.
I have updated resumes.
Applied for jobs.
Handled finances.
Managed schedules.
Smoothed conflicts.
Held the structure together.
There was nothing wrong with helping.
There was nothing wrong with believing in someone.
There was nothing wrong with wanting to build together.
But somewhere along the way, I crossed a line.
I stopped being a partner.
And became a parent.
The Reality
The shift didn’t happen overnight.
It happened quietly.
Responsibility defaulted to me.
Even after I carried the foundation, everything became “equal” on paper, but never in practice.
Leadership was expected but never demonstrated.
I found myself doing the grocery shopping, managing the household, paying the bills, planning everything while still being expected to affirm someone else’s sense of control.
And when I tried to carve out something for myself?
It was expected that I would pour that back into the system.
That’s when it became clear.
I wasn’t building with someone.
I was carrying someone.
What I Know Now
Love is not rehabilitation.
Partnership is not parenting.
And loyalty without reciprocity is self-erasure.
I am not waiting for someone to figure out their life while I cheerlead from the sidelines.
I am not carrying potential anymore.
I am not stabilizing someone who is comfortable being unstable.
If I am building, we are building.
If I am growing, you are growing.
If I am healing, you are healing.
Not perfectly.
But intentionally.
The Clarity
This is not bitterness.
It’s discernment.
It’s understanding that what I once tolerated came from low self-worth, not destiny.
It’s acknowledging that I loved deeply but I wasn’t aligned.
It’s accepting that some chapters exist to teach you what you will never repeat.
Fifteen years was a chapter.
A season.
A lesson.
Not my identity.
And I am grateful it ended.
The Decision
I am no one’s ride or die.
I am someone’s equal.
I will not abandon myself in the name of loyalty.
I will not carry what belongs to another adult.
I will not confuse endurance with love.
I will not shrink so someone else can feel like a leader.
I have done that already.
And I will not do it again.
This is not about rejecting love.
This is about choosing the kind of love that does not require me to disappear.
With grace,
Natalie
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