SOUL WEALTH CHRONICLES ISSUE 90
The Burn đ„ Before the Bloom đȘ·
There are seasons in life that donât feel beautiful while youâre in them.
They donât look like blossoming.
They donât feel like arrival.
They donât come wrapped in peace, clarity, or certainty.
Sometimes, they feel like irritation.
Exhaustion.
Discomfort.
Disillusionment.
A deep internal knowing that something no longer fits⊠even if youâre still physically standing inside it.
That is the season I am in.
And if Iâm honest, today felt like a perfect mirror of that truth.
I was up in the middle of the night tending to one of my little ones, helping soothe discomfort and settle chaos before finally returning to sleep. Then morning came too soon, and with it, the familiar feeling that I simply did not want to get up and re-enter a life that no longer feels like a match for who Iâm becoming.
I worked from home today, but one thing became very clear:
It doesnât matter whether Iâm working onsite or at home.
The deeper truth is that my spirit is tired of working in environments that feel misaligned, under-communicated, and energetically draining.
And maybe thatâs the real thing Iâm finally willing to admit.
Because sometimes what we call âburnoutâ is not just exhaustion.
Sometimes it is the soulâs response to outgrowing a life that once held us, but can no longer contain who we are now.
Thatâs what this season feels like.
Not failure.
Not collapse.
Not punishment.
But the burn before the bloom.
The part no one glamorizes.
The part where the old life still existsâŠ
but your soul has already begun leaving it.
The part where your tolerance gets lower.
Your body gets louder.
Your spirit gets clearer.
And the things you once endured begin to feel unbearable.
That is not weakness.
That is transformation.
There is a card I pulled today that said it all: The Phoenix.
And that card felt less like prediction and more like recognition.
Because I know now that I am not just âhaving a hard day.â
I am in a rebirth cycle.
A real one.
The kind that doesnât always arrive with beauty first.
Sometimes it arrives as fire.
Sometimes it burns away:
the old identity
the old tolerance
the old survival mode
the old version of self that knew how to keep going, even while silently shrinking
And what remains after that burn is not emptiness.
It is truth.
Thatâs what I feel right now more than anything:
truth.
The truth that I am no longer meant to build my life around over-functioning.
The truth that I am not meant to stay in systems that only know how to take from me.
The truth that something in me is no longer available for what I used to call ânormal.â
And the truth that what feels like irritation on the surface is often grief underneath.
Grief for the time.
Grief for the energy.
Grief for the life force spent maintaining things that were never meant to be permanent.
But grief is not always a dead end.
Sometimes grief is the doorway.
Sometimes it is the sacred fire that clears the ground for something softer, truer, and more aligned to finally take root.
And maybe that is the invitation of this season:
Not to rush the bloom.
Not to fake the peace.
Not to force clarity before itâs ready.
But to honor the burn for what it is.
A threshold.
A shedding.
A holy in-between.
A place where the old self is ending, and the new self is quietly gathering her strength.
I do not have to know exactly what comes next to trust that I am no longer meant to remain where I have been.
And maybe that is enough for today.
Maybe todayâs medicine is simply this:
I am not falling apart.
I am burning off what no longer belongs to me.
And when the time is rightâŠ
I will bloom.
Todayâs Reflection
What in your life feels like it is burning awayânot to punish you, but to prepare you?
Affirmation
I trust the fire that is clearing the way for my becoming.
I am not breaking down.
I am making room to bloom.
If you are in a season that feels more like fire than flowers, I hope you remember this: not every sacred transformation looks beautiful while it is happening. Some of the holiest seasons are the ones where everything false is being burned away so something truer can finally rise.
With grace,
Natalie
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